Cycle of Time
by lupin-girl88
Summary: this is my take on what happened with the Snape and Whomping Willow story line. I know it is really overused, but this is my first fanfiction. told mainly from remus' POV.


Remus Lupin sat lazily by the lake, under his favorite tree. The thick branches cast a cool and welcome shadow over his lanky body. He looked up from his book, out over the dazzling blue lake, and then past it, toward the school. No, not just a school; a home; Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The place that he, as well as his three best friends, had called home for almost six years now. Tearing his eyes away from the magical castle, he settled them upon the scene before him.

The sun beat down over the lake and grounds of Hogwarts, a rare event for the middle of March. All of the students had taken advantage of such an unusual Saturday. All around him, groups of students lay stretched out, relaxing in the sun, temporarily forgetting the mountain of homework awaiting them back at the castle. Remus himself had been dragged outside by his friends earlier that morning to experience the first real day of sunshine, though he had protested, insisting he had too much work to get done. In the end, they had let him bring one book, and one book only. So he sat, under his tree, flipping through his lone textbook, occasionally stopping to watch the people around him.

There were three he watched in particular; the boys that he met his first day of school, back when he was only eleven years old: James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. He watched them now, splashing and playing in the shallow lake water, not letting their sixteen year old minds get too caught up in becoming responsible adults. James was the leader, the most popular. To the school he was known for his Quidditch skills, and his good looks. He had unruly, jet-black hair, and startling hazel eyes that were often hidden beneath his circular glasses. He had an athletic build, but he was graceful on and off the pitch. However, Remus knew there was a different James behind the celebrity. There was a kind and caring, sometimes uncertain James that was only ever shown to his friends. Though at the moment, he was being anything but nice toward Sirius, whom he had just tackled and dunked underwater.

Sirius came up from the water, gasping for breath. But instead of being mad, a mischievous grin snuck across his handsome face. Remus couldn't even fathom a guess as to what was running through Sirius' mind, but it must have something to do with revenge. Sure enough, the next time James turned his back on his best friend, the tanned and toned body of Sirius could be seen flying over the water, landing squarely on top of James. The two boys splashed around for a bit, before becoming tired. Remus focused on Sirius.

Remus still remembered his first day at Hogwarts, when Sirius Black had come into his compartment on the train. Remus had been sitting by the window, reading a book.

"I'm Sirius Black" he had said, walking into the compartment as if he owned it, followed by a bespectacled kid and a small mousy boy. "It sounds like 'serious', but spelled differently. People always mess it up. And these are my friends, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew." His openness had caught Remus off guard, but he liked it. They talked the whole way to school.

They had become instant friends. Over the years, their bond had only become stronger. Sirius had developed impeccable charm and wit that made the girls swoon and hang on his every word. But behind the boy's noble persona was a cruel family. The Blacks were well known followers of the Dark Lord. Every member of the Black family that went to Hogwarts had been in Slytherin House, and like everyone said, there wasn't a witch or wizard that went bad that wasn't in Slytherin. But Sirius was the white sheep of the Black family. He was different; not only did he get sorted into Gryffindor, the bravest and most loyal house, but he had never believed what his parents did. He stayed true to himself, and to his friends.

Peter hadn't changed much. He was still as mousy as he had been in first year, and was constantly following James and Sirius around. Though he didn't have much talent as a wizard, or a student; he was a friend, so Remus, James, and Sirius helped him out as best they could.

Although Remus had been excited to finally have friends, he was also scared to death that they would find out his secret; a dark secret that would alienate him from the world for the rest of his life. An unfortunate accident in his youth caused him to become a werewolf; a murderous beast one day a month, a perfectly sane and normal wizard the rest. But that one day was the only day the rest of the world saw when they found out. He knew if his new friends found out, they would judge him, desert him, and hate him, just like every other person that knew had. Well, everyone except for Albus Dumbledore.

Professor Dumbledore was the Headmaster at Hogwarts and the reason why Remus had been given the opportunity to attend Hogwarts in the first place. He had sought out Remus, accepted him for who he was, and decided nothing would stand in the way of him receiving an equal chance in life. There were special precautions made, of course, because the safety of the students was the top priority. The year Remus came to Hogwarts, a giant willow was planted at the entrance to a secret underground tunnel that led up to a house overlooking a nearby town that Remus could use to transform on the full moon. The tree was bewitched to protect the entrance to the tunnel, by all means necessary. The students had named it the Whomping Willow after Davey Gudgeon, a first year student, almost lost his eye when someone dared him to touch the trunk of the tree.

Remus had kept his secret all of first year. It had taken all of his willpower not to just come out and say it, get it off of his chest and out of his worries. But he would rather have worries and stress than no friends at all. Everything had changed his second year. He was running out of convenient lies to excuse his absence every month. His mother had already been sick, so had his father, and aunt, uncle, cousin, and dog. James and Sirius, the top students in their year, figured it out first. They, along with Peter, had confronted Remus in their dorm room in October, after a particularly bad transformation.

Angry words were exchanged, tears threatened to spill, but in the end promises were made, and a pact initiated. They were strong together, and nothing would get in the way of their friendship. Remus had felt so relieved. He was truly happy for the first time in his life. They spent the next three years together, inseparable at times, becoming the closest of friends. Remus thought life couldn't be better. But it did, on a white Christmas in their fifth year.

The four boys were lounging around their dormitory early on Christmas day. They had awoken to three feet of fresh snow, and they were currently exchanging gifts. Wrapping paper lay forgotten on the floor while sweets were devoured, and new books were flicked through. The boys had given Remus a copy of _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_, a book written by a famous werewolf, and Remus had already started reading when Sirius came over and jumped on his bed.

"Alright, Remus. Don't get too far ahead of yourself. There is still something we want to show you." He said, a smile plastered to his face.

Carefully marking his page with a book mark, Remus set the book down and folded his hands neatly on his lap. "You have my full attention."

The three boys exchanged smiles as they walked toward the center of the room. Remus was confused, wondering what on earth the boys had up their sleeves. Sirius began the countdown, "5…4…3…2…1…" All at the same time, the boys began to change. Skin was replaced by fur, feet and hands by paws and hooves, until there were no traces left of any of the boys. Standing in Sirius', James', and Peter's places were a black, shaggy dog, a golden stag, and a small fat rat. He looked curiously at them for a number of minutes, his mouth slightly open. Then, as quickly as they had morphed, they changed back into boys.

Remus was still staring at them blankly, trying to make a connection between their incredible transfiguration abilities, and himself. Sensing his confusion, James helped him out.

"After we learned about you being a werewolf and all, we did some research in the library. It took us the better half of three years to figure it out, but we finally did it. We can turn into the animal that fits our personality. We're animagi now." James explained.

"Don't you get it, Remus? Werewolves are only dangerous to _humans_." Sirius walked over to Remus and looked into his eyes. Realization dawned on Remus' face.

"You mean…I can't hurt you during…when I transform?" He questioned, still shocked.

"You got it! You'll never have to be alone again!" Peter exclaimed as joy swallowed his entire face.

"Wow…" Words failed Remus. He couldn't find the words to express how he was feeling. Thanking them didn't seem like it would ever be enough. Tears of happiness welled up in his amber eyes, and he reached out and grabbed Sirius and hugged him.

"Thank you, thank you so much" he whispered. He would never have to spend the night in the shack by himself ever again. For the first time in his life, he began to look forward to the full moons, because they were made bearable by the presence of his best friends. Each month brought another adventure. They became the Marauders, Sirius was called Padfoot, James became known as Prongs, Peter was Wormtail, and Remus was named Moony.

A cool breeze ruffled his hair as Remus smiled to himself, remembering all of the good times they had spent together over the years. He was just about to return to his reading when someone sat down next to him.

"I can't believe you are doing Potions homework on a day like this!" Lily Evans exclaimed, feigning astonishment.

"Oh come on, Lily, I saw you doing yours over on the grass a half an hour ago." Remus retorted, not even looking up from his book.

Lily blushed slightly, and leaned back against the tree.

"So, where are the girls?" Remus was, of course, referring to Lily's best friends Marlene McKinnon, and Dorcas Meadows, also called Dory. Marlene was in all of Remus' classes, and they usually studied together, and Dory was on the Gryffindor Quidditch team with James, a fellow Chaser. Lily was usually flanked by her friends, and their absence was noticeable.

"I think Marlene dragged Dory to the library to work on their Muggle Studies homework. They said they would meet me at dinner." She sighed, staring out at the lake. "Those boys are really going at it. Have they been doing that the whole time?"

"As far as I know, yes, but I haven't been watching them all day." He gestured toward his book. "But you know, at least they aren't causing trouble with a certain Syltherin…"

"Very true." Remus and Lily were both Gryffindor prefects, and had become very close over the year, spending a lot of their spare time doing school related things together.

Finally exhausted from splashing in the lake, the three soaking Marauders flopped down around Remus and Lily. Remus, not wanting any of his school work to get wet, quickly stuffed his book back into his backpack.

"Whacha doin' there Moony? Don't want anything to get wet?" The mischievous glint in Sirius' eye had returned. He stood up, still drenched, and shook himself out. Water flew everywhere, coating a screaming pair of prefects from head to toe.

They spent the next couple hours lying under the protection of the tree. James and Sirius were telling jokes and Remus and Lily were helping a frantic Peter with an assignment. As the sun began to set over the tops of the trees, James heaved a heave sigh.

"Well, as fun as this has been, I do think we ought to be off, right Padfoot? We don't want to be late for our detention this lovely evening." James got up from the lawn and stretched.

"How on earth did you receive detention on a Saturday? And when? I was with you all day!" Remus was astonished at the new low his friends had accomplished.

"Oh, this is still leftover detention from last week when we levitated all of the house tables during dinner…or maybe from when we enchanted those bees to follow Snape around all day…" Sirius looked pensive, but cracked at smile when he remembered Snape running down the corridors being chased by bees.

"No, no. This is from three days ago when we set off Dung bombs in the Slytherin Common Room after Snape ruined Peter's potion during class, and got away with it." James finally recalled which prank had sentenced them to a night of cleaning cauldrons without magic.

"Ah yes, it's just so hard to keep them all straight." Sirius took out his wand and cast a drying spell on his hair and robes. "We'll see you back in the Gryffindor Tower." James and Sirius walked back to the castle, leaving Remus, Lily, and Peter staring out at the slowly setting sun.

"What's the deal with them and Snape anyway?" Lily asked suddenly, pulling Remus out of his daydream.

"I don't know exactly how it started, but I do know that it had something to do with Sirius, and him being placed in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin. You know how his family is, all that stupid pure-blood supremacy. Apparently Severus feels the same, and things got ugly from there."

"Well, that explains Sirius, but what does James have against Snape?"

"James has Sirius' back in anything." Remus said simply. "We all do."

Lily thought about that for a second before saying, "I guess I never realized how close you guys are."

"It's getting pretty late; we should probably head to the Great Hall for dinner." Remus got up, picked up his bag, and then offered a hand to help Lily up from the grass.

They walked across the sloping lawns toward the school, but Remus was distracted by a small clump of people over by the edge of the forest. After closer inspection, he saw two familiar shapes bent over in laughter while a third shape danced wildly about, trying desperately to control his legs.

"Looks like our friends got a little lost on their way to detention." Peter observed, pointing at the group of boys. Indeed, it was Sirius and James, and the third boy was Severus Snape, the Marauder's favorite student to pick on.

Before Remus had a chance to react, Lily was already on her way across the grass. Remus never had the courage to stand up to his friends, even if he was a prefect. He much preferred that Lily do it, she was better at it anyway. He watched as she pushed her way into the inner circle, where James and Sirius were. James was facing the opposite direction, and didn't see her approach, but Sirius did, and he promptly stopped laughing.

"Black, Potter! What do you think you are doing?" Lily forced her voice to stay level and calm.

"We weren't doing anything, but it seems Snape here is having a hard time walking in a straight line." Sirius replied innocently.

With a wave of her wand, Lily ended the spell that had been put on Snape's legs. As he regained his balance, he shot a menacing glare through his greasy, black hair at James and Sirius before turning and stalking back to the castle.

"Oh come on, Evans. He was picking on some second years, and when we tried to stop him, he rounded on us. What were we supposed to do?" James tried to explain.

"You should have just ignored him, like everyone else does."

"Well, we tried to, but then he was talking about you, calling you some filthy names, so we thought.." James trailed off.

"I don't need anyone, especially you, standing up for me." And with that she stormed off to the castle, leaving a group of dumbfounded boys in her wake.

The fresh April air hit his bare arms and sent a shiver down his spine. It had been quite warm during the day, but the night had come, and combined with the anticipation of the full moon, so had the cold. There weren't many stars out yet; the sun was just beginning to set over the mountains. The sky seemed undecided about whether it wanted to rain or not. Remus set out down the path, following closely behind Madam Pomfrey.

"So, what number is this for you?" she started, trying to make conversation.

"Oh, I don't know. I lost count ages ago." This, of course, was a lie. He knew this was number 138. He didn't know why he had kept track after all those years, but something about the number seemed to calm him.

"Quite chilly out tonight." She tried again. "Why didn't you bring a cloak, dear?"

"It's new. Mum got it for my birthday. I didn't…want to ruin it." He finished weakly, his cheeks burning hot with embarrassment.

The nurse said nothing, but briskly continued down the trail. The walk to the willow was almost always cold. Those walks used to be depressing for Remus, knowing that he was about to spend the night in excruciating pain, alone and not in his right mind. But that night he knew that he would soon be with his friends again. They would sneak down to be with him in his time of need. They would be together under the moonlight, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.

Madam Pomfrey stopped just out of reach of the thick, menacing branches of the Whomping Willow and waited while Remus retrieved the stick from its hiding spot among the bushes. He skillfully prodded the knot, and the branches froze in mid-swing. Remus turned to face his caretaker, and she handed him his overnight bag with a sad smile.

"I'll be back tomorrow around midday."

"Ok then. Thank you." This was their ritual dance. She always waited for him to climb down into the hole before setting off back toward the castle. As he watched her go, Remus lets out a small miserable sigh. After making sure that Madam Pomfrey was well on her way back toward the protection of the castle, he made his way in the opposite direction, along the long, narrow tunnel that lead him in the direction of madness.

At the end of the tunnel was a small metal trapdoor, and as Remus climbed up through it, he saw the dismal house that he used every month. Most of the furniture was ruined, large scratches and bite marks adorned the walls and doors. Climbing the rickety stairs to the bedroom, Remus was surprised to find a note taped to the banister.

_Wotcher Moony! –_

_Sirius managed to get detention tonight, so he might be meeting us down here later. It was strange, he wouldn't tell us what happened, but Prongs seems to think that Snape has something to do with it. When we dropped Padfoot off at transfiguration, Snape was there too, smirking. Greasy git! Don't fret though, dear Moony! We are on our way!_

_Wormtail and Prongs _

Smiling, Remus folded the note into quarters, and placed it neatly inside his bag. Although it didn't matter what room he choose to start the night, Remus felt better about starting in the master bedroom. He made his was down the hallway to the third door on the right. Inside, the curtains that once proudly covered the windows had been ripped and shredded, and were scattered around the room. The room was completely ruined, except for the master bed in the middle. Remus always fixed it before he left, just so he had something decent to come back to every month.

A familiar prickle on the back of his neck told him that it is almost time. Behind him, the sun was almost completely set, its last rays of light and warmth slowly disappearing behind the trees. Remus undressed quickly, but took the time to fold his clothes and lock them, along with his bag, into a sturdy chest nestled beneath the floorboards. His wand was the last thing to go in. He wouldn't need it tonight.

The worst part about the whole transformation was the wait; the calm before the storm. Remus glanced toward the sky and as the first rays of moon light washed across his face, his pulse began to speed. A wave of pain sent him to the floor, his bones cracking and reforming. A long, loud howl escaped as his face lengthened and became a snout. Silvery hair grew rapidly all over his body while his hands and feet became claws. Just as the physical transformation was complete, Remus' mind darkened and he knew no more. The wolf had taken over.

"Oi! Peter, walk on your own feet!"

"Sorry, I can't see, it's too dark!"

James stopped, readjusted the invisibility cloak draped over his and Peter's shoulders.

"Come on, just a bit further, and then we can take this bloody cloak off."

They silently edged their way down the corridor toward the front door. Stepping outside, they turned down path toward the Whomping Willow, James unceremoniously stuffed the cloak into his bag. The full moon was already high above them, casting an eerie glow around the tops of the trees. They had just started to jog towards the tree when they heard a shout echo behind them.

"James! Peter!" A loud, bark-like call was coming from the school. James turned around to see Sirius running full speed at him, waving his arms above his head.

"Sirius, calm yourself. We can see you." James said, with mock seriousness. Peter sniggered.

"No, Prongs, you don't understand…" He skidded to a halt in front of the other boys, and tried to catch his break, hands on his knees.

"Sirius, we would have waited for you if we knew you'd be out of detention so early."

"Well, I slipped out without being seen…really neat actually." He began to describe his ingenious plan, but Peter interrupted.

"Padfoot, what were you going to tell us?" he questioned.

"Oh, right. So during detention, Snape was being the big-nosed git that he usually is, but tonight he was being extra slimy. I don't know what came over me, but all I wanted to do was hex him into the next century, but unfortunately McGonagall was keeping a close eye on us…"

"Spit it out already, Sirius! If I had wanted to know all this I would have been in detention with you." James was getting slightly worried; they needed to get down to Remus soon.

"Right, I…ah…well, I might have told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow…" The last part was almost impossible to hear. Sirius was looking down at his feet, and digging around in the dirt with his sneaker.

"What! Sirius, what were you thinking? Why…what…" James shouted, sounding slightly hysterical. Peter was just standing there, mouth slightly open, his brain moving sluggish. Meanwhile, Sirius shrunk even further down, looking like a small child while James continued to rant and mutter incoherent questions in Sirius' direction.

Finally, Sirius looked up. "James, there is a little bit more…" He looked at James to try and gauge his reaction.

"You'd better start talking! I'm serious, Pads, this is bad!"

Sirius looked up into his best friends face sheepishly and said quietly, "No _I'm_ Sirius." He chanced one of his award winning smiles.

James, on whom that smile never worked, glared back at his friend, unaffected by the overused joke that they had started back in second year. "Sirius, what are we going to do? What if he tried to get in? What if he finds out about Moony? Sirius, that wasn't your secret to tell." He said all of this is a calm tone, one that made Sirius feel deeply ashamed. He almost preferred the yelling.

"I know, Prongs, I know! But that is why I ran all the way down here. When I went back to the tower to find you guys, I saw Snape walking back down toward the doors. I think he is trying it _tonight_!"

Peter had been shifting uncomfortably on the outside of this confrontation between best friends, but at this statement, he glanced down the path, in the direction of the tree.

"He's there _now_?" Peter finally choked out.

"I'm not sure, but my money is on it. He kept saying stuff about Moony not being in class today. I think he knows what's up."

James, not knowing what else to do with his hands, was running them through his jet black hair. "We have to stop him. We can't let him see Moony." Sirius was regretting his rash actions. James stared him down, not blinking. "Fine! I'll go! Stay here. No, change that. Go get Professor Dumbledore, and probably Madam Pomfrey." James then turned and sprinted away. Sirius and Peter took off in the opposite direction.

As he headed down to the willow, James could see that the branches weren't moving. _Not a good sign. That means Snape is already inside. He could be hurt, or worse, he could have seen Remus_, he thought. He quickly slid through the small gap in the trunk. _I shouldn't have wasted so much time with Sirius_.

Squinting ahead, his eyes searched for a sign, anything up ahead. Then he saw it, a faint glow near the trap door, a wand glow…

"Snape! Stop! Don't go in there!" Too late, the light disappeared. James reached the trap door in record time. He didn't think he had ever run that fast. Poking his head up through the door, he heard…silence. Never a good sign in the presence of a werewolf. It meant that prey was being stalked. The whole room was illuminated by the moonlight. A hooded figure disappeared around the corner of the upstairs hallway. Not wanting to draw attention to himself, James decided against yelling. He bounded up the stairs, and with a desperate grab, seized Snape's arm before it had a chance to open the door it was reaching for.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" James half shouted, half whispered. Not waiting for an answer, he began to drag Snape away from the door and back downstairs, toward the trap door.

"Potter!" Snape spat, beginning to struggle out of James' grip. "Let go of me! I…want…to…see…"

"No! We can't stay here. It's not safe!"

"What could possibly…" Snape had frozen in mid sentence. It took a couple seconds for James to realize that Snape had stopped struggling. Looking at Snape, he saw that Snape was starring at something over James' shoulder. A growl came from behind him, and he knew what he would see when he turned around. Slowly pivoting, he twisted to see the wolf, grey hair shining in the moonlight, poised gracefully yet threateningly at the top of the stairs, teeth bared, and muscles twitching.

Without moving a muscle, he whispered to Snape, "Out! Now!" In one fluid stroke, James threw open the trap door, pushed Snape down into it, and jumped down after him. At this sudden movement, the wolf broke, wanting the chase to begin. He bounded down the stairs in one leap.

"The door! Quickly!" James and Snape reached out and slammed the door just in time. The wolf reached the door and began to slash and bite it, trying desperately to get through. At long last, the wolf, in frustration, let out a long, pained howl. In the back of his mind, he knew it was going to be a long night for Moony. Then he rounded on Snape.

"What are you playing at?" he asked, exasperated.

"I should be asking you the same thing, Potter! Hiding a werewolf! He…that _thing_ is dangerous. It shouldn't even be here." He sounded disgusted.

"Remus has every right to be here, same as you, same as all of us." James felt angry, but he didn't show it in his voice.

"He…it isn't even human! Wait until Dumbledore hears about this one…"

"Dumbledore does know. All the teachers do. Do you honestly think they wouldn't have known? Why do you think they planted this tree the year we all came to Hogwarts? But no one else knows. And you can't tell anyone!" James shouted, losing control of his emotions. His anger was being replaced by panic.

Snape looked surprised. "I can't just not tell. He…Sirius tried to kill me with that monster!"

"Remus is not a monster. He is my friend. And if you tell anyone what you just saw, you might as well condemn him to death. Could you bear having that on your conscience? And Sirius wasn't trying to kill you. He was just being incredibly daft. He wanted you to keep your nose out of other people's business." In his mind, James had added 'abnormally large and greasy' before 'nose', but had bit it back just in time. He was, nevertheless, trying to reason with Snape.

Snape had nothing to say, and instead of just standing in a dark passageway all night, James said "Come on, let's get out of here."

They silently made their way down the passage, Snape holding his wand out in front of them for light. But what they saw at the entrance to the tunnel was something they wished they hadn't. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall were waiting for them. James couldn't decide which teacher he would rather face.

McGonagall's lips were pressed together in a straight line, her face a deep red, and her usually tight bun was loose and frizzy. On the other hand, Dumbledore was unusually calm. Even his eyes could not give away his emotion. This made James feel even worse, because Dumbledore had a way of making you feel terrible without even raising his voice.

_But wait a minute_, James thought, _why am _I_ feeling guilty? This isn't even my fault. I am the hero. I saved Snape. Shouldn't Sirius be around here somewhere?_ Sure enough, a few paces behind the teachers were Peter, looking anxiously between the adults and James, and Sirius, looking much different than his usual confident self. He looked scared. His body was upright and tense, but his face was cast downward. As though he could sense James looking at him, he looked up and stared back. When he saw that the two boys had returned safely, his body seemed to relax a bit. The intense worry left his face, only to be replaced with sorrow and regret. He looked more like a dog with his tail between his legs, and James was sure that he had already been thoroughly chewed out by McGonagall.

"I'm sorry." Sirius mouthed at James, and James, decided that anything he wanted to say had probably already been said by McGonagal, simply gave a slight smile in return.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore was trying to calm down Snape, because as soon as he had exited the tree, accusations began flying from his mouth. It took a long time to get control of the situation, but Dumbledore eventually did.

Sirius and Snape were given about a month of detention, although, in order to prevent another episode, they would be serving the detentions in separate rooms. Dumbledore had also forbidden Snape to tell anyone about Remus, reasoning that if Mr. Lupin wanted the whole castle to know, he would have told everyone already. James and Peter, although they did the right thing, were given a week of detention for being out of bed at night. Sirius thought he got off relatively easy, that was, until Dumbledore had informed him of the rest of his punishment. Sirius had to be the one to explain to Remus what had happened during the night.

Soft rays of light danced across Remus' face. He tried to open his eyes, but as soon as he did, the room began to swim, and a bout of nausea rose in his stomach, so he snapped them back shut again. He also became aware of the dull pain echoing through his entire body. While he collected himself, and willed his head to stop pounding, he began a body check. From what he had seen while his eyes were open, he guessed he was downstairs, at the base of the grand staircase. _Great_, he thought, _all of my stuff is up in the bedroom_. After establishing his position, he began to assess his injuries. Laying face down on the floor, he could feel a burning sensation in his chest. A couple of broken ribs, not too bad.

When the dizziness had subsided, he chances opening his eyes again. _Yep_, he confirmed, _bottom of the staircase_. Turning over onto his back took almost 10 minutes. His arms and legs were covered in gashes, already beginning to scab over. Remus had the sour taste of blood in his mouth that always made him sick to his stomach. Getting up the stairs and into the bedroom was going to be brutal, but he needed to get to his wand and his bag of his supplies to he could heal some his minor injuries before Madam Pomfrey came. _If only I had some help…_

Just then, a slight knock came from the trapdoor. "Ya'll right, Moony?" called a familiar voice.

Speaking for the first time, Remus called back, "I could use a bit of help!" His voice was scratchy, and he remembered that was thirsty.

"Ok, we are coming in!" James' voice sounded again. A black haired head poked up through the door, followed by Peter's blonde one. "I see you haven't gotten too far." James smiled, and went over to help his friend up.

"So, what did we do last night? And where is Sirius?" Remus always liked to hear what adventures they had gotten themselves into the previous night, as he had no recollection of anything while in his wolf form. James glanced over a Peter, not knowing where to begin. Peter, feeling uncomfortable, decided to go and retrieve Remus' wand and bag.

"Ah…well, we had some trouble last night…" James started.

"Oh no, I didn't hurt you guys, did I?" Remus looked worried.

"No, we're fine. Erm…we didn't actually stay the whole night. We…well…Sirius had detention with Snape and...he ah…" James trailed off, not wanting to be the bringer of bad news.

"Prongs? What is it?" Remus was confused. Why was James stalling? Usually the gang couldn't wait to tell Remus about the previous night. What could possibly have happened last night that they didn't want to tell him?

At that point, another knock on the trapdoor came, and through it came the second black haired kid. He looked terrible, as though he hadn't slept at all during the night.

"Hey Sirius, what's up? You look awful. What happened to you last night?" Remus was genuinely worried about his friend, and continued to badger him with questions the whole way up to the bedroom. Finally, with a nod from James, Sirius mustered the guts to respond.

"Look Remus, there is something I need to tell you …about last night." He couldn't find it in him to look Remus in the eye. He quickly began to tell the tale about last night's rather frightening escapade, not stopping to look up or take a breath. When he got to the end of the tale, he sighed heavily and said, "Remus, he knows. I mean, he _knows._ We did everything to try and stop him. But we couldn't."

It was hard to decipher what was going through Remus' mind as he listened to the recount. At times he looked impassive, scared, or even a little mad. But at the end, when everything had been said, he looked plain miserable. There was a hint of sadness in his voice when he finally spoke.

"Sirius, I think you should leave." He whispered, looking straight ahead, past the boys, at the wall. All the good times that they had shared, all the amusing tricks they had played, nothing seemed to be able to abate the strong feeling of betrayal that was growing inside Remus' chest. As he watched Sirius leave, he felt utterly alone. Sirius represented the only person who he wanted to talk to about this, and the only person whom he couldn't bear to see.

Over the years Sirius had become Remus' most trusted friend. He had the shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen with. Remus and Sirius shared the same sort of sinister energy in their lives.The Black's were a dark family, dabbling and sometimes delving into dark magic, and, while Remus did not perform by wand, he, too, both used and had witnessed dark magic. At the same time, Remus and Sirius shared the same reluctance to let the darkness claim them. Through this they had developed a strong bond, but now there was a rift in that bond. And Remus was unsure if it would ever go away.

A month had seen its cycle; the moon had waxed and waned. Little changed between the Remus and Sirius; they still avoided each other at all costs, and in the absence of each others presence, sought out company, which, a mere month earlier, would have seemed second best. Remus could be found in the library helping Peter with the potions homework, and Sirius spent hours in the corner of the common room, planning a new prank with James. In the times that they were forced to be around each other, they were overly nice and formal. It was as if the previous years hadn't ever happened, and they were meeting each other for the first time. The easy conversation and relaxed friendship was ruined.

Sirius was dejected. Everyone could tell. His energy and his spirit were gone. Guilt and shame had been swirling around in his stomach for what felt like forever. But he knew that sooner or later he would need to talk to Remus, and his opportunity came after a particularly grueling night of homework.

Sirius had just finished his third essay of the evening. It was titled _Werewolves: What Separates Man from Beast. _Sitting through Defense Against the Dark Arts class had been painful. Sirius could almost ignore people speaking roughly about werewolves, but watching Remus turn chalk white and grab the desk in front of him with shaking knuckles, was the worst part for Sirius. It had taken Sirius more than two hours, but he had finally managed to write the perfect essay.

"Remus, would you mind editing my essay? I want to make sure I got everything down." Sirius spoke timidly toward his friend, hoping that his sketchy plan would work.

"Why don't you get James to do it, I am really busy right now." He didn't look that busy. He had finished all of his work hours before.

"Come on, mate, you know you are the best at this kind of stuff." The flattery had worked, at least. Remus took the parchment from Sirius' outstretched hand, and began to read:

_Werewolves: What Separates Man from Beast – by Sirius Black_

_I sat down to write this essay, thinking that I would turn it in for a grade. But I would rather have a zero than turn in a paper full of lies. What separates the man from the beast? The heart. And Remus has the strongest one I've ever known. He is more than just a werewolf. He is my best friend, a kind, loving, sensitive friend that I would die without. Everything makes more sense when he is around. Man or beast? Just look at him, isn't it obvious? _

Remus didn't know what to say. He kept his eyes on the paper like he was still reading, even though he had finished several minutes ago. He could feel Sirius' fixed stare on his face, trying to read his expression.

"Come on Moony! Not even Peter reads that slow!" Sirius was impatiently wringing his hands. He felt slightly embarrassed and exposed, but he couldn't turn back now. "You know that I wasn't trying to hurt you, or Snape. I just lost control. You mean too much to me for me to throw it all away like that."

Remus slowly lifted his eyes from the parchment. He could see that Sirius was being sincere by looking into his grey eyes. The playful shimmer was gone; they seemed deep and grieving. Remus knew he shouldn't fall for this, he was still angry, wasn't he?

Sirius could sense the change that was taking place inside Remus. "I am truly sorry, Remus. I don't know what else to say." Sirius quietly got up from his seat and began to walk away when Remus grabbed his wrist.

"Sirius, don't go. I've missed you. I missed you during the full moon last week. You make it bearable, you and the guys. And I've missed talking to you, just being around you."

They spent the rest of the night talking, catching up on things. Both of them were cautious, neither knew where to test the boundaries. But with time they would rebuild their friendship, stronger than ever. It would only take time.


End file.
